Talking with children regularly about personal safety helps children understand when boundaries may have been crossed and gives them the language to tell you when something is wrong.
Teach your child that some body parts are private. This can be as simple as describing that anything a bathing suit covers on the child’s body is private.
Teach correct words for private parts (penis, vagina, vulva, butt/bottom). Using these words and having your child know what they mean can help a child talk specifically if something inappropriate has happened.
Don't associate private parts and developmentally-expected sexual behaviors with shame and embarrassment.
Teach children:
No one needs to play with or take photos of your private parts.
No one needs you to play or help with their private parts.
No one should show you photos or videos of private parts.
Incorporate safety talks into everyday, teachable moments.
Use examples from songs, movies, and shows to start meaningful conversations.
Be open to questions children may have. If you don't know the answer, it's okay to ask for support from others and return to the conversation at a later time.
Teach Children Our Body Safety Rules
Teach your child that the following rules apply to everyone, and they can say "no" to anyone who wants to break a rule. Let them know that if someone breaks a rule:
It's never your fault.
It's never too late to tell.
Tell a trusted adult. Keep telling until someone listens to you.
It's okay to tell me. I'm glad you told me and want to help keep you safe.
Your body is yours. YOU decide how, when, and if you want to be touched.
If a touch makes you feel uncomfortable, sad, confused, or not right, it's unsafe.
Giving consent to any touch is your right. Getting consent before touching anyone else is your responsibility.
Define touch for your child. Avoid using the words like “bad” or “good” touch. Sometimes a “bad” touch might feel good to a child. Use language like safe, unsafe, confusing, or secret touches.
Tell me or another grown-up you trust if someone asks you to keep a secret.
A secret is when someone asks, threatens, or forces you not to tell about something they did. Secrets are unsafe. Telling about secrets is not tattling or snitching.
Be careful about what you post and say or share with others. Don't post personal information (e.g. email address, home address, phone number, social media handle, etc.) online.
BLOCK:
Anyone who bothers you in any way. Do not feel bad about doing so. Report them if necessary.
TALK:
To someone you trust if something is bothering you.
Talking to kids about safety, feelings & healthy boundaries from a young age helps them recognize when something feels uncomfortable or scary & gives them ways to speak up if they are abused. Click the video to see our YouTube playlist with virtual children's book readings with CAC staff. You can also download a list of book recommendations below.
